Dealing with change before its begun.

Ever had those moments in your life, where you think about almost everything in it, and how it's going to change. It's not going to be the same. and then you think of the time where you will look back at these moments and wish you were still anticipating change, and not going through it! And one day you will look back and realise, it was going to happen anyway.
Well this is happening to me on many levels right now. In a few short months- a lot of things are going to change.
From selling and moving house, the one where I love to live, where I grew up and most memories were created. To my best friend/family possibly moving away for more then a year, to changing church, meeting a new family member, changing jobs, a lot of things are going to change.
And in anticipation, it's hard. I have moments where its exciting, overwhelming, sad, happy, and just sometimes; to much.

As I look around my room now, I find it hard to imagine anyone else having "my room" as their own. It's going to be very different!

Yes, people keep telling me things i already know, like...im lucky to even have a roof over my head, and this new place will be an adventure, its really nice where you're going, you will get used to it.
For me, none of it changes how hard it's going to be to move. Because I simply- don't want to move from my home.

When it comes to my best friend moving away, I knew it would be inevitable. She has had a heart for this place for a long time, and I know its a massive opportunity for her. So im excited for her, I just dont know how Im going to handle life without her! After all she is my twin. I may even miss It when she steals my clothes, because she wont be able to when she is gone.

Changing jobs, Im actually excited to leave this new place im working at. Its horrible! So it's good I know its only for a season. And then ill probably be happier once Ive left there. Sometimes things are only for a season. And they make us stronger!

Changing church. This is one thing I haven't discussed with a lot of people. A few know that Im keen to check out other churches. But God has definatly made it pretty clear. Not only in my attitude towards my church has become quite negative, and I have prayed about. But no one is perfect, no church is perfect.  And I can understand that. I think it goes beyond how I feel, it's me trusting God with where He wants me. And not where im comfortable. Even though Ive experienced dissapointment and lost passion for it-  ive come to realise, I cant change it. I cant stand and be disapointed in something that maybe isnt for me. When I know people are being blessed and grown there. The reality is- Im not. Though I love my community there- its also where I grew up, and where my closest friends are. Its time I follow what God has planned for me, and what He has put on my heart for a while now!
So I will try... and slowly transition for the rest of this year. Ill still be at New Hope for 2014- because as a youth leader I intend to keep my relationships with my amazing youth girls and my commitment to youth. So we will see how that goes. It's going to be hard!

Family is the one thing that keeps me going. My constant love from my heavenly Father. My family here, my parents are great, my sisters are a blessing. Even though some part of our family can be broken and some are more distant then other times, we still try. The only thing we or I can do is try. Try and have a positive attitude when it seems impossible, try to move on without being negative, keep trusting in God and all he has planned. After all- He makes everything work together for my (our) good.

Ways I have learnt to try and have a positive attitude in the midst of change....

1. Take smaller steps.
Its amazing how easy change comes when you take smaller steps. And believe it or not, these changes I have mentioned earlier are small steps in my journey.. so I need to take one at a time.

2. Remember every adventure is a journey.
I need to continue to reflect and keep on track in the times where you feel like your journey has no peace, or where you need to take smaller steps. Sometimes I have to catch myself before taking bigger steps.

3. I have to have the heart of an adventurer.
If God has called us forward into something new, then all will be well.

4. Dont look around- look at God. Have a confident expectation that God will work together for my good.

5. Deal with negativity and doubt. Praying through difficult situations and hardships, and giving them to God.

6. Feed your faith, starve your doubt.
Keep trusting in jesus knowing that He is all powerful and my steps in obeying him are going to go far beyond my expectations.

7. One small step opens countless opportunities in life.
God is big on promise and low on detail.
We just have to take the step.
The fruit of your obediance is always bigger then what you think.
There is always someone waiting on the other side. In your obedience to God- someone will be blessed.

8. Forgive like Christ has forgiven you. Relationships are our greatest blessings, but greatest challenge.
Feelings can disapear, communication can  break down, or we can be hurt.
Things happen in relationships but they can be overcome by the grace of God. Its not gonna happen just by prayer. You have to take a small step to reconciliation.  Its no good pretending everythings okay, when its not.

9. Take responsibility.
If the world is tough, it overflows into your relationships.

10. Trust God.
Remembering to constantly handing him all my frustration, worry and hurt. And trusting him with my life, after all it's His. Not mine!

This morning as I sat in church, I got all these.. 1-10 ways to rely on Him. It made menreflect over all parts of my life and how they seem messy. But all I need to do is rest in Him. It was exactly what I needed. It's funny the way God speaks to us.
As we sung Glorious ruins by Hillsong I woshiped my little heart out. its my prayer for now.

Lyrics: " As the mountains fall, and the tempest roar You are with me. When creation folds Still my soul will sing of your mercy.
Ill walk through the fire, with my head lifted high. And my spirit revived in your story. And ill look to the cross as my failure is lost, in the light of your glorious grace. Let the ruins come to life, in the glory of your name, rising up from the ashes, God forever you'll reign.
And my soul will find refuge, in the shadow of your wings, I will love you forever, and forever ill sing.
When the world caves in, still my hope will cling to your promise. Where my courage ends, let my heart find strength in your presence".

Amen!
Peace readers.

Just as the sun brings life to the world, God will bring life unto me.

Have you ever woken up not wanting to start your day? You're still under your doona, and its the best place on earth. Why would anyone want to start the day when your consumed by cosiness? 
This is my constant battle.....every morning. (Especially now I'm working full time). I'm defiantly not a morning person!
In that moment, I think of all the things my day will involve, from beginning to end. All the things I have to do, the people I will see and the time it will take, and when ill be back in my bed again... ready to start the day again. And then I think of how many more minutes I can enjoy not doing all those things.
I'm sure most of you can agree or relate somehow! Life is hard or it can be. Facing tough situations isn't easy and not everyone can't make you happy. The world cannot make you happy! we are constantly searching for more. Weather you know it or not.

This morning wasn't different, I lay there doing exactly this. Overthinking. It's probably a girl thing, or just a normal human thing. Maybe girls can just admit it more! Anyway...  I started to think about the sun, and all its goodness!  It makes morning, creates our light and a whole new day. Everyday the sun rises, yes we all know that..
I guess a lot of the time we don't see it because its up before we are. Or we want it to stay still so we can sleep just a little bit longer. But it still somehow seems to creep through my curtains and onto my face.

There have been times on the rare occasion where I have gotten up to watch the sunrise. If you have ever done this you know exactly what I'm talking about when I say it's so incredibly peaceful. There is something special about it. As the edge of the sun, touches the face of the earth, the colours in the sky change, the birds sing and awaken, and the crisp air that fills my lungs makes me feel so content.

I remember the feeling of serenity and peace. And having no doubt in my mind that God is here.

It makes me think of the promises God has for us...

  Hosea 6:3 "As surely as the sun rises, He will appear. He will come to us".
God is here, He is alive, and just as the sun rises, He will come to us.
This makes my day feel a whole lot better. Why? Just because I have Jesus.
I couldn't imagine life without him.
For me- A life without a Jesus, is like a life without sun.
The sun plays an important part in life. Of course we all need our little dose of vitamin D. But the Sun brings life.. the earth without the sun, wouldn't be able to survive!
Like this, I or all of us cannot survive without God. Without Jesus.
Its my personal relationship with Him that I know He is here. I know He has my heart. Even when I'm constantly overthinking things, or when I am weak. I know that He is God. And that's all that ever seems to truly matter. The best thing is, is that I have peace when I need it most. In those times, when I can no longer do it by myself, when I don't want to get out of bed and face the day....
John 16:33 "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you, not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be fearful".....
I have peace knowing the God of the universe knows my heart, and has gone before me.

So before I get out of bed, I give my day to God. I let him in, He brings me life, He brings me joy. And even though sometimes life brings heart ache, even though life brings troubles, weakness, sadness, and hurt. My God, our God, has already overcome that!

 John 16:33 (continued) "...I have told you these things, so that you may have peace. In this world you have troubles. But take heart, I have overcome the world".

This is probably my favourite bible verse.
Knowing that a God has overcome everything, and I no longer have to worry about anything. For me its not about what God can do for me, although sometimes we all fall short of his glory. Its more about what I can do for God. After all He gave it all, a He gave everything for me.

 

This is one of those times where I watched the sunrise. I was on coffee shop down in Port Fairy. I remember waking up. Ebony, Jack and Sam all came down with me. We walked 1.5kms to the lighthouse where the sun was just coming up over the horizon.

 

So in conclusion.. I will try,  to start my day consumed by Gods grace. By His presence and promises. Trusting that He has already overcome all the trials and disappointments in my life.

 

"Just as the sun brings life to the world,  God will bring life unto me"- Katherine Gerrand.

 

Peace readers! Hope your life is full of sunshine :)

calling amongst money.

Hello friends & blog readers.

My first thought that has been in my mind the last few weeks is money. sounds silly hey? But when you live in todays culture, you can understand. I think to all extremes... how little I can end up or seem to be earning, where my money goes, what I need with my money, where I should put my money, what my money can get me, how much my money can get me, and how much I can satisfy myself with the money I have. We are all selfish when it comes to money. And honestly- how ridiculous is it? How our world revolves around it, and how we have to have it, in order to survive. Most people love money, I have to admit- I do love it. Only because it can get me things, and keep me in a balanced place. But I also have this hate for it- you could understand. How much more money we tend to want, when we actually have more or need more. It's un deniable. This world revolves around money. And it's annoying as heck.

I'm okay to admit- I have recently found myself having less of it, with bills having to be payed, and the amount of work I wasn't getting was kicking my bank account in the butt.Im sure some of you can relate. Going from working 4 days a week, to working only one shift a week was hard. But I know God provides. He always does!100% if you trust in Him!

  Before you get to antsy about reading this (cause it's such a tough and touchy subject for some) You may disagree and agree, who knows. But know that I mean no harm done.

So I  was earning less, and I was trying to spend less. But things add up and  in this world you need things, like toiletries, food, petrol, things like birthday presents and pay bills, and car rego. (Not so fun for all those Part time workers). Some of us are lucky, some work full time, and some of us are either studying or in between jobs. Weather we like it or not- we all need money to live and get by in our culture. Our economy is like a constant vacuum cleaner.

A story about how God provides in ways we may not expect ...
Summer 2012 was coming up,  the job I had was at a café 4 days a week. It was good to be earning a decent amount. Soon the café was slowing- so sooner then later they we cutting every one's shifts, which lead to having no shifts at all. I only had a few photography jobs coming up over summer. Which I could maybe scrape through... if I kept to a tight budget.
Next thing I knew- my camera broke- my only income for the next 2 months.
I didn't know what to do, I prayed, and trusted that God would provide (well tried to). I got my small group (at the time) to pray and all I could do was worry and wait. I was lucky my camera had one month left of warranty- so I sent it off to be fixed. Though they said it could take up to 2 months to be fixed. Of course, I panicked. But it wasn't the end of the world. God had bigger things planned...
the start of December I went away on a young adults camp with church. Of course I stayed with my small group. My awesome small group.
At the end of the amazing weekend, my small group got together and gave me 600 dollars they had all put in together. WOW- what a blessings, that was the most money I have ever been given. And at a point where I had nothing- some how I had everything. I had the Love of Jesus... and 600 dollars haha
It couldn't get me close to a camera, but it was a start- and I am so very thankful to this day to them all! So knowing that it couldn't get me a camera, I decided it was going to be put towards it of course. So I put it away. About a week later an old friend who was a photographer wrote a post saying how she was selling an old 5D camera and that if you were interested- to message her.. Expecting the price to be around 1,500 dollars- I thought Id just ask..
She got back to me within the minute saying that she was selling it for 600 dollars.
WHAT!?
I was mind blown- but at the same time- why should I be?
That week- I picked up my camera, and I was able to do my photography jobs over summer. God provided in ways I never would of thought. At the same time, the people in my small group were encouraged. And I was grateful. I have no doubt that God provides. It's just in ways we least expect.

Some of you may be thinking- But I don't have a small group, or people who will just hand me money? You know what- I didn't think I did, until it happened. Yes I was fortunate and very lucky, it was Gods way of providing forme. But it doesn't mean He doesn't have a way of providing for you.

I have seen God do some amazing things in my bank account, with my work and wherever he leads me. I can get down to the last dollar in my account, and I will still have faith that God will provide- He always does.
And yes I'm not saying that we have to work hard for our money- sometimes we have to work really hard for our money- but that being said I am also certain that God will be a constant support and provider if you let him.

It says in the bible- Money is basically the only thing we can really test God with.

Malachi 3:10-12

Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! ¹¹ Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease.^[a] Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. ¹² “Then all nations will call you blessed, for your land will be such a delight,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.

 

I believe God doesn't want our life to revolve around money- HE wants us to give our finances to Him. This doesn't mean physically handing our money over to the church, it means living a life full of Christ and not relying on money to be your constant saviour. Because we all know- no matter how many new things we buy- we are always going to be wanting something... New.

Although our life will always involve money, it doesn't have to revolve around it.

Now working two jobs, one of which I really don't like- I need to save, I need to live- so sometimes we have to put up with a little hard work, and a little tough love in order to earn a living. Honestly- money is the only reason why I am there.  But it can only go up. Instead of complaining, I should just change my perspective. I guess we all don't like working, some of us do- for example I LOVE doing photography, and one day I do hope I can do that full time, but for now, I'm still working my way up- so I have to keep going with the now, so I can have the later... And I have noticed God defiantly places you somewhere for a reason. Although I hate my job, I have found that giving my day to God changes my heart. Instead of going there with a mind set of " lets just get through this day" I got there with the mind set of "Lets grow the kingdom". I have seen a radical change in my relationships and my attitude towards work.

There is a lady- Inette. She is 75, (though she doesn't even look close to it) still working a few hours a day in this café I am at. Although some people aren't the nicest at work, and she and I get a few negative words. Inette and I like each other. Since our little "You're nice so I like you" bonding sesh, I have found out a few things about her.
She is from Holland, one of 10 kids. She is one of only two left out of her siblings, she lost 8 of them to lung cancer because they all smoked. She didn't. She goes to church every Sunday, and she has a carer that comes and does physio with her every week. She loves working still. ( I think it keeps her moving and going) she has a really nice smile. And we like each other. Why? well, because we are nice haha
Inette lost her husband of 43 years a month ago. She told me, and I wanted to cry.
There is another lady at work, she can be lovely, but in some cases I guess she chooses not to be. She is obviously broken ( as we all are), she doesn't have the patients for Inette, maybe because Inette is a little old, and likes to talk about her life. But considering she has no one to talk to anymore- of course she want to come to work and talk- or want a friend. Not even that- she probably just wants someone to listen to. And Im happy to listen. I like Inette.

I guess my point is- it doesn't matter where you are, I have realised over and over again, is that your calling is bigger then the money you earn at your job, or the worldly reason why you are there. Our calling is for relationship. Not just to love other people, but to have a constant relationship with Christ. To grow his kingdom and share the love He has for me, with as many people as possible. I may not want to be at this job, but there is a season for everything. So right now- I am giving all my seasons to God, because His hand and feet work far beyond mine. And His calling, is bigger then my own.
Instead of focusing on the way I can be impacted, I have to think of the ways I can impact others in the setting I am in. And be thankful that even though I may not like something, that God can change my heart. He can change yours too. If you let him! In the end, we cant take our bank accounts of material things when we die, but we can grow His kingdom, and continue in His love story.

Hug them a little more.

 Isn't it funny that when you lose someone, or something, your world changes. Your heart changes, and you suddenly feel like something you had is missing. It's hard to describe, but when you lose something, you can almost feel lost yourself. Sometimes loosing someone doesn't take long to sink in, other times our hearts refuse to allow the truth to become real. We'd rather not accept that they are gone, or that you will never see them again.
I'm sure we have all lost something or someone weather it be a friend, family member, a child or a loved pet. It still hurts no matter what. It doesn't change the pain of losing them. And it doesn't change reality, no matter how often we expect them to walk in the door, or for them to magically show up in our lives again. We wish to see them just one more time. Or have one more moment.

 I guess in this world, we try so hard to hold onto the things and people we have, we can forget that in that moment- it could be your last, their last. What would you say or do differently if you knew it was the last moment you were to ever see that someone again.
There are always parts of my life I would change. I'm sure there are moments in anyone's life they would change. But we can't! The past is the past, and life just seems to go on.
Maybe I would speak my mind a little more, tell that person how I really feel, hug just a little bit longer, and love a little more. Be less selfish and more selfless.
But It shouldn't take losing someone to realise this, we should always love beyond our capability.
And this makes me think, How often do we take people for granted?
How often do we push people around, and not speak words of life into someone, when we have the chance.
The people around you have been placed there for a reason, instead of seeking love & acceptance from all of them, maybe you have been placed in their life to love and accept them.

And this doesn't help the pain of losing someone, I guess we all fear things like death, losing someone, and not being here, or the things we will miss out on. We don't know why bad things happen, or people die unexpectedly. We can't change what is going to happen, but we can change our perspective and our attitude when it does. Even though that can seem impossible, Gods grace can change ANYTHING!  We cling onto the hope that God gives us, the love that he offers, and the peace he restores in our hearts when fear becomes painfully enduring. Sometimes it is all we have, sometimes its all we can see in the darkness. God.

When it comes to losing someone, I find the memories flood my mind  When I think of the , the good times, the bad, but the first thing that comes to mind every time, with out a doubt, is the last time I saw them. The last time I will ever see them. The goodbye you had, or didn't have, their smile and their hugs, and the love you felt for them comes back to the surface, and as tears well up in your eyes, you know that hey meant more to you in this life then they will ever know.
 I guess it's part of letting go, but no matter what I will still hold onto hope. Still remember who they were to you and who you were to them. The difference they made in your life, and who you would be without them.

Loss is a painful thing. So my challenge to you, who ever you may be, is to Live a life full of love, laughter and no regrets. Live each moment as it comes, but don't take anyone or the time you have left for granted. Don't hesitate to go beyond the line, and live your dreams.

Not that I have lost anyone recently, it's always a good reminder to love the people around you.
This photo gives you some perspective of what I'm trying to say, no matter who you are, Love a little more, appreciate people more, & always HUG a little more.

Peace, Kath