Sometimes, I feel like im Hiding. Other times, I realise I'm hiding only because I can't see the ripple effect of what Love can do in my life. They do say "It's better to have loved, then to never have loved at all"

Before you read this, know that what I'm sharing isnt always easy. Although I'm an honest person, I'll tell you how it is... my hearts intentions is to be real with you. To show you that even though my world isnt perfect, and I have my weakness's. I believe in a God who can overcome all things. Well, I can tell you now; this past month has been an interesting one. Full of suprise's, good and bad. But I'm looking forward.. looking ahead, and looking to God. Have you ever stopped and wondered what it would be like to see you life from a bigger perspective. How small and insignificant all your little issues, all the things you worry about, and all the stress you place upon yourself without even realising it? I was there.

I became over stressed with life and all it seems to be! But God continues to show me His greater perspective and plan for my life. It takes a while to get out of; stress, because healing, processing, and things take time. Normally with myself in general, it starts with one thing. then another and another.. until I haven't processed or rested.. It started when my car kept breaking down. At first, it was something I could deal with... every so often my car began to stop in the middle of driving, sometimes in the middle of intersections.. pretty scary when you have cars coming fast at you and you can't do anything. But lucky, it sorted its self out. I got my car fixed... which means I now have a debt owning of nearly 2000 bucks. To some this may seems small, but with only 15 hours a week of work, and A trip to Japan less then 5 weeks away... money almost got the best of me. But I'm trusting in God. So with that, came job seeking. If you've done it before- you know its hard for a barista or cafe assistant to find work only during the week (with the weekends saved for my photography). Anyway, I had a few trials, and interviews and none of them came through... and so I know I have to still trust God with where I am at right now.. and the time will come soon enough where I move on from my jobs, but for now- I love them. But it had me stressed. It had me consumed. Having moved house last October, I have felt pretty distant from people, from where I called home. And it's fine, because my new house is great, but It also takes a lot to keep in contact and see a lot of my friends these days. Just have to go that extra mile. At the end of last year- God told me to drop all my commitments in church. This was because I was becoming burnt out, and really needed to seek that passion in myself again. I needed to find that desire, to rest in God and just be me for a while. And so I dropped everything. Which may sound simple, but if you know me- you know that I love to do things, I love being involved, and I love serving. I was scared not to be involved, but, what I was more scared of; is missing out on the bigger things God has for me because I'm busy doing what I want to do & not where He wants me. So I stopped. For a while. Although I kept serving,and wanting to do more. I just kept going. So while I was stressed I had a million other things going on in my head. Job seeking, saving, should I cancel my Japan trip? Not sure where my passion was anymore... God knows what else. (Am I making sense or am I rambling... or just annoying you about stressing over dumb things) I know there is a 3rd world. It is easy to be consumed in problems... the devil likes to use them against our freedom. Anyway... It almost got to the stage where I was considering not going to Japan, and getting a full time job. Even though Im sure God wants me in Japan. But it was going to be cheaper for me to cancel my mission trip, I was that deperate. But God pulls through. like a lot of us... not knowing where I am meant to be, even though im somewhere. Figuring out where I am going and trying to trust in Gods purpose and plan for my life. But Ive lesrnt it is where I am right now. Is where He wants me...

This last week and a bit has probably been the most eye opening. Not just for me- but my whole family. My sister was in a major car accident. I remember driving to work after finding out she was rushed to hospital. (Not the call you want to ever get) Everything in me just wanted to make sure she was okay, even though I knew she was going to be. Long story short- life seemed more fragile again. And I was thankful for the simple things. And all of the worlds issues, my issues and everything imperfect seemed insignificant now. God was teaching me how insinificant my "big" problems are. I was thanking God that day. It made me realise how much I need to be thanking him everyday for the little things in life that we can take for granted. God is teaching me a lot recently. Of His grace... of His power... and of the way He works. And you know what, I can't understand it. All I can do, is obey.

I have found God likes to use you in the middle of your own troubles. Although sometimes it is easy to be the hands of God. This particular day- it honestly wasn't. The same day, when my mind was consumed with family and getting home, getting ready for my German friend to come over, after having a stressful two weeks.... About 20 minutes before I needed to leave work this guy came in to the cafe. He sat down, dumped his things on one table. Sat down on another, and asked where the nearest powerpoint was so he could charge his phone. I didnt think much of it and just said where the powerpoint was. Side note: Something my manager and I have been learning at the moment is seeking out God and His kingdom in the cafe. We want not just to "work" there, but love and do His works. So there we were. Packing up, the cafe was quiet. And we had this random dude sitting there. After about 20 minutes, he wanted to buy a can. And didn't quite have the right amount of money, both my manager and I felt to just give him food and drink. So to his suprise, we said "you have have it for free". confused he said "uhh really!?" We just explained its because God loves him. Something this guy hadn't heard before. He asked "He does"? And we just simply said yes.. After he finished his food and drink, he turned to us and started asking about Jesus. Being in a Christian book store... we were kinda in the perfect environment. So we started having this massive conversation about God, and the spiritual world. He said he felt 'lead to the store'. That he was at ringwood station & $2.90 had fallen out of a vending machine. He was on his way to meet a friend in blackburn but couldnt find or get in touch with her. He t saw the sign that said "shops" which lead him to caring, lead him right to where God wanted him.

Soon we found out that he (Harley) was very open spiritually being open to paranormal events and things he has sort out in his past. He used to seek out paranormal activity and believed in ghosts and evil spirits. I instantly felt I need to pray for him. I asked if he had gotten anxiety or spiritual attacks... He said "Anxiety is the thing I struggle most with" After he shared about a few things. Both my manager and I lay hands on him, and we prayed. He said he had so much peace after he prayed.

He also felt extremely arkward... not because of us, but because he felt like people were watching. Which I honestly couldn't care less about. I ended up giving him a bible and another book on life. And then...I actually had to rush off... because I needed to pick up my German friend from the station.. which I was now 20 minutes late for. So I quickly got my things and rushed off. As I was leaving... a lady in the store pulled me aside and said... "Thankyou, that was beautiful, I loved watching God work through you and through simpleness" I saw in her eyes how much it encouraged her. This wasnt an act from me. This was an act of Grace. 

God through me! I haved loved seeing how when you give your time to God and when you allow him to work... He does amazing things... Although Harley walked away feeling loved, blessed, and cared for... I loved seeing the affect it had on that lady. Who already knew God. It also encouraged myself ad my manager, to see how even though we are both there to work, God can still work through us. And even though we are going though so much, God can still use us if we're willing. 

We could of shrugged him off, thought he didn't belong here... Instead we loved.  

How amazing to know that when life throws all sorts in out faces, Im cometely stressed on the inside. God rocks up and uses me, makes me realise what my purpose is, and re aligns my thoughts with His again. A few weeks have gone past... and although more thing have happened. I trust whole heartedly in the one who goves me stength when I need it. Provides and gives me provision for my future. And when I feel like my purpose is running dry, all i need to do is to look and rest in His presence. How good is God!

I hope this chapter of my story has encouraged you. Even though my brain my be overloaded or you might not understand half the things I have said, We're all human, all have one creator, and all have one AWESOME God.

And as he continues to show me how much He has, and how little I do. My greater perspective continues to make me realise how He has already overcome my problems, that may seem big. But really- they are small.

Peace readers.