a purpose

We don't know when its coming.. the end of the world or when were gonna pass on to the next life.. Its weird to think "how am i alive?" or "why are we here?" we all know how were made, but why are we here? Whats the purpose of us.. I mean one day the world is going to end and what would the point be, so we could have a relationship, a family, a life on this earth, but when it ends, wouldn't it be all for nothing?. Katherine Elizabeth Gerrand, with a purpose for being on this earth? Man I've gotta figure this out!! I want to discover life yet, I don't want to regret my life, because we only have on on this earth or wake up tomorrow wishing the day before never happened, i want to discover my purpose.. But wheres my next step? Maybe ill travel around, searching the world, but what if i never find what I'm looking for? what happens then.. i cant give up on searching.. i guess we all feel the need to know what else is out there? most of us probably don't know everyone on the same street as us, I'm sure we have seen them around, but these people are around us in our life living in the same place and city, and were in theirs!  Its weird how we don't know the people closest to us, strange how this world operates. Everyday at school, i see someone new, who i haven't seen before, yet there we are both going to to the same school, at the same place, and the same time... just a thought

Reality.

Its different to all of us, those who believe certain things, who see situations differently, how our mind basically works, and how we have been brought up. Reality can be tough, some choose to believe certain things…. Parents (as we all know), lead there children to believe in “Santa” the “Easter bunny” the “tooth fairy”… all while we are growing up! But why? So reality can seem better? A magical place? A mysterious place, where great things happen? Or so were not so disappointed with life?

Well I know as we get older we all seem to get disappointed with reality, we have different experiences, ways of living, that all seem to happen differently. Reality can shock some, for others it just sucks and it can be an enduring process. Weather if its figuring out if “Santa” is real or not, or simply working out that school was only leading up to one thing; work, and if you don't work, you study even more. figuring out that life is a simple routine . I guess we all have to make reality seem great, for life to actually seem great. Cause without the reality of life, I guess life cannot be what life is like for us. But is life reality? Well life is and isn't reality, it has its ups and downs, we all pretend every now and then, we cry, we laugh, have our good and bad weeks or days, but we are all here, facing as what we know is life and reality each and everyday. Reality can face us in the most un-natural ways, we could wake up one morning and our whole perspective on something can change, we might not laugh at the things we used to, enjoy what we once loved, or cry at the things we cried for. My reality right now is going to school, working 3 shifts a week, going to church and youth, and occasionally catching up with a friend here and there. It has ups and downs, I'm sure everyones life does. Sometimes I think I’m “un-greatful” for my life, and the reality i face. I know a lot of the time we seem to want more. More of what we know other people have, or hear something and all of a sudden we might want that one "thing" too. What we see all around us effects our being and who we are, and what we act like. I know life will have its ups and downs, we will face sadness and grief, happiness and joy, peace and love, anger and hurt. In life we face reality. I guess we have to enjoy the adventure we have, because our adventure, is our reality and our reality is our life.

im-perfection...

we all have doubts about who we are in this world, and who we are within ourselfs.

im-perfection, is there such thing?

"Apparently" we are all created equal, and in his image. in other words we are all like him.
we all have flaws, yes it may be that, one might talk to much, gossip, brag, annoy, not say the right thing at one time... but flaws within ourselfs can be different.
we all see ourselfs differently to what other people see through their eyes. Not only do we doubt who
we are, we point out all the little things that we know and see that "we dont like" or "want to change"
about ourselfs. Yet in our minds we judge, we judge all those around us, even if we don't mean to we still find ourselves judging... and for what? so we can feel pity? Or so we feel better about ourselfs..

But is it human nature?

 no wonder why we feel as if we are incapable or imperfect. we judge everyone around us, and when we stand in the mirror, we judge ourselves maybe because everyone is constantly judging. 

Well my only hope is that i can no longer judge so that maybe no one would judge me, even if its for the smallest of things because we don't even have the right to judge one another... we judge the people we don't even know or never seen until now.

  On that note i leave my conclusion to be, "You are PERFECT, we all forget it because of the flaws God has given us, but be greatful you have them, because without them, you; wouldnt be YOU! "

fear...

we all have it. fear of letting go, fear to love, fear to lose the things we tresure. fear to speak out, fear to feel, fear of the future, fear of the past. i know i have fear.. fear of now, what my life brings, and how im meant to deal with everything thats going on. i cant let fear swallow my life. its hard to hold on to the light we have, that little hope we have. its hard to go to sleep at night only to wake up to do something you dont want to be doing. the fear of waking, going, doing... i need hope for going and doing. the lord is my shepard. i shall have no fear through him. AMEN

Thinking...

Sometimes. I think.  and i think too much.
About life and all it brings.
 about promises i've made and the ones i've broken.
 the things i've done within my life.
The people i've met along the way. if they will be in my future or just today?
i keep my mouth shut on alot of things. only to protect the friendships i have.
worried of losing someone i love.
Alot of things have happened, alot of them gone wrong.
People get hurt along the way, but it makes them into who they are this very day.
schools such a mess, i don't like it at all..
there's something about it that lets me fall.
hold me closer, closer to you.
though its hard, know i still love you.
The vibe is strong, yet i am weak.
Still i stand strong, only for you.
Only your burning light gets me through.

fearless..

a word we are all incapable of. to have no fear... its almost impossible.We say we follow our heart, by heart do we mean soul? by soul do we mean God? we follow what we believe, sacrifice things we have, stand for the things we love, and defend for our humanity. is seing believing?

things to say

theres so many things this world can bring, happiness and joy, anger and regret, peace and love, passion and fear... this world is a strange home to us all. i always think of what it will be like when im not here? its mostly the fear of what im going to be missing out on. though i know i wont have fear, hate, regret, or anger.. i will have peace, happiness and joy. i guess thats what im mostly looking forward to! though there a good days, im blessed with this life, so i mise well live it as well as i can. try be that hope one cant have, try be the rock under ones feet, or that friend you can always count on. as the bible says "love your nieghbour as yourself". i think sometimes we forget, take out all the passion, anger, fear and regret on someone else, and make a hole in their blessed life. We are all here to encourage one another. i know the people i know today for a good reason, they encourage me lift me up, so now its my turn... Lord i never want to fall out of your love, your amazing grace, keep me at your pace, so i can learn to love like you ♥

the afternoon...

i always find, every afternoon, im tired, not matter what even if ive just lazed around ill still be tired. its strange how our bodys work.. how were all created a certain way. 10 fingers and 10 toes thats all that counts. not only are we all created perfectly, we are all created for a reason. sometimes i find it hard to believe we are created for a reason, but we are, individuality is a gift, and we shouldnt hide ourselfs only to be wanting to be like another. its hard to watch some, who "get a hair cut" or "get this" only because someone else does. i guess in a way its hard to know who ourself can be. you just gotta be strong, repect your self. how can we expect others to respect us if we cant even respect ourselfs? just a thought of the day.

first blog...

well it certainly seems strange for me to be posting my personal thoughts o the web... but i thought why not? sometimes people do some strange things.. so here goes. Well my name is Katherine Elizabeth Gerrand, you may or may not no me, im 17 years old, in year 12. im a twin... which has its ups and downs. i love photography... wow i really dont know much else to say here, its gonna be harder then it loooks to write something decent. ill have to do my research :)