insignificant significance

Hello my lovely readers, who ever you may be. Hope you life is as good as sunshine and your happiness levels are higher then the clouds.
I haven't blogged in a while, so here I am, typing words to create what seems to be in my mind.
Which sometimes seems quite a lot. Other times, what is on my mind seems insignificant and I find other people much more intriguing, or interesting. But here I am, talking about my own life, or life in general.

The other night, few of us decided to go on a spontaneous beach trip at 9pm.. who knows why? But I have missed going on little adventures. And the beach in general. It is the one place, I feel so peaceful. Maybe it's the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, the sand beneath my toes, or the smell of salt in the air. I just love it, defiantly my best happy place. I think it partly keeps me sane. I guess we all have that place don't we? Where time slows down, nothing seems so significant in our life, and worries seem to fade. Because in that moment, you are in serenity. Where your thoughts and dreams are bigger then the bubble we live in, and we question our existence and our purpose. I'm sure you can all relate to those moments.
As we were driving back from the beach, I was looking out the window of the car. Dark as can be outside accept for the street lights, and the lights in the distance that look like stars. My head rested against the window, watching the clouds unfold the brightness of the moon, passing over the light it brings, and beckoning into the darkness again.
It made me think how small I am, how my life is a mere second compared to eternity. That you and I are here, walking the same life yet different journeys. Yes one of those "life moments" I seem to have a lot of. I think we all have them though.

We all desire to be great, do amazing things, travel, learn, grow. Beyond all that we desire to love, and be loved.

I have read so many books, so many articles, so many blogs of people trying to explain in their own words what life is to them, how to be the best you can be, how to live in your faith. Or creative ways to think beyond our box, and step out into something new. It often helps me to change my perspective on certain topics, helps me to understand a different point, but most of all helps me to understand the meaning behind why we are the way we are.. The truth is, we are all broken, we are all going through different things. There are some paths that cross others and some that are fading, and some are holding on to a thread. For now, it's what you have.Of course I have my fair share of relationships that I want to be more developed, left alone, more embraced, changed or have a certain label. We all want to share more with that one person, or wish we had said or done something more. We often regret words that are said, or want to change aspects of our behaviour. It's a human thing, we all want what we can't have. And then when we have it, it doesn't fulfil our deepest of desires, the void we all have  Only Jesus can do that. Often people have this perspective on him, that is very worldly. "Jesus" - the world view of him is different to mine. Some think he is this boring biblical character, others know him as a swear word, some think he is just some dude in history and has no significance now. Well you're all wrong! To me and many, HE is a friend, the best kind. He is my life, my saviour and my ultimate peace maker. I could ramble on about how amazing He is to me, and get all mushy.. but I think you should get to know him. Find out for yourself. It's more exciting that way!

Over the past few years, I have become more comfortable with, me. Who I am here and who most importantly I am in Jesus. I'm a pretty honest person and I'm happy to say how it is. I'm more then happy to be myself, and be bold about my faith and love for Jesus. And if you don't like me for who I am, that's okay, it doesn't matter to me more then it does to you.  Time is a precious thing, and it means a lot to me, being a quality time person. It is also hard to know where that balance is in friendships, deepness and intimacy, when it comes to time and how much of your heart your willing to give away in that time. To anyone, time I'm sure means a lot. Weather it's the moments you lost, never had, or want/need more of. Time is time, and we all seem to want more. I probably say to much sometimes, over write things, you may find this all a big hoohar of nothing, I don't mind. Write your own insignificant significant blog if I frustrate you :)
 We are all working, striving, and growing to be the best person we can be. And I think we can often get caught up in doing that for the wrong reasons, or for world reasons. Do it for Jesus. Cause in His love, you can't fail, you can't go wrong. That doesn't mean everything is going to be perfect or just magically be exactly the way you want it. God gives you the desires of your heart, when they are aligned in His will. We may feel insignificant at times, because in the worlds eyes we are small, but we all make up the bigger picture, and we are significant in God's eyes. And that's all that should truly matter.

Peace readers,
Kath xxx

The constant confusion.

Before you read this.. remember I am a girl, and my brain likes to think through things. And guys- no harm done.. im just saying how it is these days!
And all you couples or married people- you may laugh or have different opinions or thoughts. For now these are mine...
Some simple thoughts on relationships.

When it comes to relationships- I'm no expert. I'm not in one and never have been. But I know there is one thing it comes down to -communication.
The hardest part about starting a relationship, but how easy it becomes to communicate when you start to. Then again some find this easy from the beggining which would be great.

We all doubt ourselves, overthink things, read into things and become emotionally unavailable when we start to have feelings for another person. Sometimes even before we realise we have feelings for them.

I was talking to a friend at work the other day, about dating. How girls (yes most girls) can make it hard for a guy. Or put a lot presure on them. Especially being a follower of Jesus, I can take dating very seriously- and I don't want to date for... the sake of dating. To me dating is marriage- which does reflect a lot of presure on guys these days. Sorry boys.

So what happened to courting?
When did guys get scared of asking a girl on a date, getting to know her?
I know a lot of my guy friends don't do this often. I guess it's good when they do because they are serious- but girls want to feel appriciated, know that they exist. Im not trying to have a sting at the guys, I just know in our culture dating has become harder then it should be.

I have noticed that love language is a big thing and a kry to most friendships or relationships. If you don't know what they are...
1. Physical touch
2. Gifts
3. Acts of service
4. Words of affirmation
5. Quality time

It would be a good thing to learn what each others are. For example- Mine is quality time. Which means I feel most loved if you want to spend time with me. It makes me feel valued and generally loved or liked. I am also words of affirmation- which means I love to write to people or tell them things. Being this also makes it hard for me to speak into peoples life because it means a lot more to me.

Mixed signals, are extremely hard and unfair. And some people dont even realise they are doing it.
One of my best guy mates once told me "If a guy wants to hang out with you, it's generally because he likes you or thinks romantically of you". Which made me question a lot of things. Maybe a little to much...
That week we hung out 3 times.
Now this is a perfect example of mixed emotion. It doesnt make sense in my brain!
I know this guy is a friend- and has a lot of girl friends... so i couldnt read into this a lot. But girls take these things seriously. Be a man and tell her how you feel. Or next time just becareful.
If you're talking to a bunch of girls, try not to lead them on or give them the wrong intentions. It's not attractive! But some of you have no idea you're doing it until its too late.

Leading on. Well we are all guilty of this aren't we?
Recently I have noticed that sometimes you just have no idea. Especially with facebook chat, txt or any other kind of non face-to-face communication. Online chatting can become frustraing and infuriating because there is no emotion attached and our own minds change the way it was initially said.

  Be yourself aswell. There is something good about being different. I think it's what is one of the most attractive qualities... because youre not being fake. It's you and not someone else. And it requires a lot of effort to be someone youre not.
I like to chat about life and all it brings- im not one to have small talk. So when it comes to talking, I am an open book. If you ask me a question I will answer it honestly. But I have learnt I need to be more careful with this. Opening up and letting people know who you are is like giving yourself to them. Though physically you haven't you become emotionally attached without realising.

Praying with someone from the opposite sex is dangerous. Only in the last few years have I realised how spiritually attached you can become to someone when you pray with or for them.
I was chatting to another friend last night, He was saying how he had prayed with another girl... who may have feelings for him. He is unsure of his feelings, but it's one of those things you have to be careful about. I have prayed with him before too, but it is different when you know your intentions. But still becareful with this all your prayers..

My intentions have become to try and treat all the guys in my life like brothers. Of course this isnt the case for everyone, like my dad or my elders... but respect them as if they were my brother.
Ofcourse this fails in some friendships. But we live and learn. Sometimes I think people are worth the fall. Until it happens and you become either hurt, jealous or disapointed.

But if it's one thing I've learnt from the past girls, is to not give yourself away emotionally, physically, or spiritually. But if there is another thing Ive learnt it's.... I have no idea where the line is.
The constant question of "the line". No one knows where it is.. its different for everyone. Because we all have different values and motives.

I don't fully know where I was going with this... but I think it comes down to respect. Respect each other, respect each others future partner. Know where you stand, and don't give people the wrong intentions. Act on your feelings guys but dont give every girl hope. But also- respect yourself,  and as cheesy as it sounds.. protect your heart.
You never know what God has planned for you. Just keep your focus on Him and the rest will play out in this place called life.

Proverbs 19:21

We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God ’s purpose prevails.