The constant confusion.

Before you read this.. remember I am a girl, and my brain likes to think through things. And guys- no harm done.. im just saying how it is these days!
And all you couples or married people- you may laugh or have different opinions or thoughts. For now these are mine...
Some simple thoughts on relationships.

When it comes to relationships- I'm no expert. I'm not in one and never have been. But I know there is one thing it comes down to -communication.
The hardest part about starting a relationship, but how easy it becomes to communicate when you start to. Then again some find this easy from the beggining which would be great.

We all doubt ourselves, overthink things, read into things and become emotionally unavailable when we start to have feelings for another person. Sometimes even before we realise we have feelings for them.

I was talking to a friend at work the other day, about dating. How girls (yes most girls) can make it hard for a guy. Or put a lot presure on them. Especially being a follower of Jesus, I can take dating very seriously- and I don't want to date for... the sake of dating. To me dating is marriage- which does reflect a lot of presure on guys these days. Sorry boys.

So what happened to courting?
When did guys get scared of asking a girl on a date, getting to know her?
I know a lot of my guy friends don't do this often. I guess it's good when they do because they are serious- but girls want to feel appriciated, know that they exist. Im not trying to have a sting at the guys, I just know in our culture dating has become harder then it should be.

I have noticed that love language is a big thing and a kry to most friendships or relationships. If you don't know what they are...
1. Physical touch
2. Gifts
3. Acts of service
4. Words of affirmation
5. Quality time

It would be a good thing to learn what each others are. For example- Mine is quality time. Which means I feel most loved if you want to spend time with me. It makes me feel valued and generally loved or liked. I am also words of affirmation- which means I love to write to people or tell them things. Being this also makes it hard for me to speak into peoples life because it means a lot more to me.

Mixed signals, are extremely hard and unfair. And some people dont even realise they are doing it.
One of my best guy mates once told me "If a guy wants to hang out with you, it's generally because he likes you or thinks romantically of you". Which made me question a lot of things. Maybe a little to much...
That week we hung out 3 times.
Now this is a perfect example of mixed emotion. It doesnt make sense in my brain!
I know this guy is a friend- and has a lot of girl friends... so i couldnt read into this a lot. But girls take these things seriously. Be a man and tell her how you feel. Or next time just becareful.
If you're talking to a bunch of girls, try not to lead them on or give them the wrong intentions. It's not attractive! But some of you have no idea you're doing it until its too late.

Leading on. Well we are all guilty of this aren't we?
Recently I have noticed that sometimes you just have no idea. Especially with facebook chat, txt or any other kind of non face-to-face communication. Online chatting can become frustraing and infuriating because there is no emotion attached and our own minds change the way it was initially said.

  Be yourself aswell. There is something good about being different. I think it's what is one of the most attractive qualities... because youre not being fake. It's you and not someone else. And it requires a lot of effort to be someone youre not.
I like to chat about life and all it brings- im not one to have small talk. So when it comes to talking, I am an open book. If you ask me a question I will answer it honestly. But I have learnt I need to be more careful with this. Opening up and letting people know who you are is like giving yourself to them. Though physically you haven't you become emotionally attached without realising.

Praying with someone from the opposite sex is dangerous. Only in the last few years have I realised how spiritually attached you can become to someone when you pray with or for them.
I was chatting to another friend last night, He was saying how he had prayed with another girl... who may have feelings for him. He is unsure of his feelings, but it's one of those things you have to be careful about. I have prayed with him before too, but it is different when you know your intentions. But still becareful with this all your prayers..

My intentions have become to try and treat all the guys in my life like brothers. Of course this isnt the case for everyone, like my dad or my elders... but respect them as if they were my brother.
Ofcourse this fails in some friendships. But we live and learn. Sometimes I think people are worth the fall. Until it happens and you become either hurt, jealous or disapointed.

But if it's one thing I've learnt from the past girls, is to not give yourself away emotionally, physically, or spiritually. But if there is another thing Ive learnt it's.... I have no idea where the line is.
The constant question of "the line". No one knows where it is.. its different for everyone. Because we all have different values and motives.

I don't fully know where I was going with this... but I think it comes down to respect. Respect each other, respect each others future partner. Know where you stand, and don't give people the wrong intentions. Act on your feelings guys but dont give every girl hope. But also- respect yourself,  and as cheesy as it sounds.. protect your heart.
You never know what God has planned for you. Just keep your focus on Him and the rest will play out in this place called life.

Proverbs 19:21

We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God ’s purpose prevails.