Another blog about the things streaming through my brain. Feel free to either read on or not to. I honestly don't care!
What a few weeks it has been. Mixed signals, and emotions, hard work, plenty of rest, different and weird times, and a bigger hope for the future. My future.
I have been on a few adventures, past times, decision making, and realising who and what matters and little things in my world keep on changing... nether the less, my brain seems to go on overload mode after a little while.
You know what I miss? My family. The one I grew up knowing. The one that seemed so perfect, so loving, and so normal. I have realised though, that no one is perfect, no family is perfect. and weather we like it or not sometimes people can walk away from love. And in response, sometimes we have to watch them take every step. Maybe we have different paths after all.
Growing up everything seemed happier, and everyone seemed to get along better. Maybe that was the child me being completely oblivious to the real world. But then again, people change, grow and get older. We learn new things about the people we have in our lives, and realise those ones who found it so easy to walk out were maybe only meant for a season, or a small chapter. But despite that- they make us who we are now.
Have you ever had someone walk out of your life? Someone you loved, someone who you thought you would never lose, someone who was always there, and now you're unsure that they might not be again. Recently- this happened. And I'm still trying to work my head around it. I don't understand completely, because I'm not the kind of person who will ever choose to walk out of someone's life. I'm not saying I haven't before- sometimes we need to realise the people who are going to make us, or break us. But it is hard when the chapter ends, or the season changes, and certain people are no longer in your life. To walk away from love- any kind of love- is hard, and heart breaking. Soon they become non-existent, someone you no longer know, you forget to worry, they become a picture or memory in your head, and somehow things will never be the same.
I know this sounds like such a depressing post haha! and you know- you're right! (but just keep reading)
Sometimes things aren't the same. There is only one love that doesn't fade, walk away from you, walk away from your relationship, and walk away from hope.
My God. My loving, everlasting, strong, dependant and hopeful God. And despite all those things that hurt, betray, disappoint, leave and beckon you into sin. God does the opposite. He acts in kindness, gives complete and humble strength, loves beyond this world, and gracefully gives you peace. In the hard times, I often have to remind myself, even though things aren't as well as they should be- It is well within my soul, because I know the God of the universe. And in those times of weakness, in those times of disappointment, and when I have no idea which path I should be taking, He whispers to me " I am BIGGER"! and suddenly, all my worries, all my fears and my doubts sink beneath me, my heart starts to sing and my lungs start to breathe.
My heart is no longer feeling empty, my soul knows her creator and life seems so small. Nothing matters, and in this silence I hear my friend calling and beckoning me into His direction.
When time's get tough, when people walk away- instead of running away yourself, humble your heart and place your worries and fears at the feet of Jesus. Because weather you know it or not- He already has them. He is just waiting for us to accept it, accept His love.
All of a sudden, it doesn't matter. All of the hurt, that pain, which direction or path I should take, those people who walk out of your life, the love tat was lost, or the home that was gone. the only thing that matters is God, and my salvation, peace and sufficiency and passionate LOVE that he has for me. He can take away my burdens, my sorrow, and all of my confliction with this world, and take me to a place where nothing but His kingdom matters.
Thank-you Jesus for the restoration of my soul, and the perfect peace you constantly give.
Even though things change, love is lost, and people are no longer an important part of your life. It is good to remember these promises, to thank God for all the times you did have. Because now- it's a new season, a new chapter, and God is shaping your heart. I have hope for my future and yours. Get ready to embrace LIFE and life at it's fullest!
