I haven't blogged in a while, so here I am, typing words to create what seems to be in my mind.
Which sometimes seems quite a lot. Other times, what is on my mind seems insignificant and I find other people much more intriguing, or interesting. But here I am, talking about my own life, or life in general.
The other night, few of us decided to go on a spontaneous beach trip at 9pm.. who knows why? But I have missed going on little adventures. And the beach in general. It is the one place, I feel so peaceful. Maybe it's the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, the sand beneath my toes, or the smell of salt in the air. I just love it, defiantly my best happy place. I think it partly keeps me sane. I guess we all have that place don't we? Where time slows down, nothing seems so significant in our life, and worries seem to fade. Because in that moment, you are in serenity. Where your thoughts and dreams are bigger then the bubble we live in, and we question our existence and our purpose. I'm sure you can all relate to those moments.
As we were driving back from the beach, I was looking out the window of the car. Dark as can be outside accept for the street lights, and the lights in the distance that look like stars. My head rested against the window, watching the clouds unfold the brightness of the moon, passing over the light it brings, and beckoning into the darkness again.
It made me think how small I am, how my life is a mere second compared to eternity. That you and I are here, walking the same life yet different journeys. Yes one of those "life moments" I seem to have a lot of. I think we all have them though.
I have read so many books, so many articles, so many blogs of people trying to explain in their own words what life is to them, how to be the best you can be, how to live in your faith. Or creative ways to think beyond our box, and step out into something new. It often helps me to change my perspective on certain topics, helps me to understand a different point, but most of all helps me to understand the meaning behind why we are the way we are.. The truth is, we are all broken, we are all going through different things. There are some paths that cross others and some that are fading, and some are holding on to a thread. For now, it's what you have.Of course I have my fair share of relationships that I want to be more developed, left alone, more embraced, changed or have a certain label. We all want to share more with that one person, or wish we had said or done something more. We often regret words that are said, or want to change aspects of our behaviour. It's a human thing, we all want what we can't have. And then when we have it, it doesn't fulfil our deepest of desires, the void we all have Only Jesus can do that. Often people have this perspective on him, that is very worldly. "Jesus" - the world view of him is different to mine. Some think he is this boring biblical character, others know him as a swear word, some think he is just some dude in history and has no significance now. Well you're all wrong! To me and many, HE is a friend, the best kind. He is my life, my saviour and my ultimate peace maker. I could ramble on about how amazing He is to me, and get all mushy.. but I think you should get to know him. Find out for yourself. It's more exciting that way!
Over the past few years, I have become more comfortable with, me. Who I am here and who most importantly I am in Jesus. I'm a pretty honest person and I'm happy to say how it is. I'm more then happy to be myself, and be bold about my faith and love for Jesus. And if you don't like me for who I am, that's okay, it doesn't matter to me more then it does to you. Time is a precious thing, and it means a lot to me, being a quality time person. It is also hard to know where that balance is in friendships, deepness and intimacy, when it comes to time and how much of your heart your willing to give away in that time. To anyone, time I'm sure means a lot. Weather it's the moments you lost, never had, or want/need more of. Time is time, and we all seem to want more. I probably say to much sometimes, over write things, you may find this all a big hoohar of nothing, I don't mind. Write your own insignificant significant blog if I frustrate you :)
We are all working, striving, and growing to be the best person we can be. And I think we can often get caught up in doing that for the wrong reasons, or for world reasons. Do it for Jesus. Cause in His love, you can't fail, you can't go wrong. That doesn't mean everything is going to be perfect or just magically be exactly the way you want it. God gives you the desires of your heart, when they are aligned in His will. We may feel insignificant at times, because in the worlds eyes we are small, but we all make up the bigger picture, and we are significant in God's eyes. And that's all that should truly matter.
Peace readers,
Kath xxx
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