The things I would say.

I don't know how to tell if I've let you go, how can you?
 You always seem to still be there. No matter how hard I try, you always seem to stay. Even though I was broken. you broke me, maybe used me, I think. Unless I took the fall and I broke myself for a reason I thought would stay. And you do, just not in that way! So maybe I should blame myself for playing your games. 
I guess I've tried to stop, told my heart it was broken enough on that cold April night- even before that time, I was breaking on the inside. I needed to find me again, me without the love and care I poured into you.. I was tired of being so run down. I tried to convince myself I deserve better, but I dont think it will ever work, somehow I will always have so much respect, honor, and love for you, even though you broke me in two.  
I was so broken for so long. I can't even begin to explain the pain I felt when you left. I struggled more knowing that it was easy for you to let go of our friendship, after I was there for you for so long. I would hear your name, your voice in my head, and just about cry, And I know you know what that feels like.. Memories pass- the good and bad, and tears would stream down my face like it happened all over again. I struggled and there were days I wished I had never met you, times where I wish I hadn't cared so much, and times where I wanted to run to you because I couldn't help but care still.. 
 Now I realize where I was weak and made you strong. Times where I fell, and without knowing it picked me up. Whenever you were broken, I was there, because you knew I cared. I guess you used it to your advantage. I get confused, a little upset, because I can't decide if you ever cared at all, and if you still do? 
It's a question I may never know the answer to. 
Now I see where all my strength and love went- to you.
And so my time and my heart gave in. I loved you. 
I don't know what your plan was, to drag me along? All I know is what's done, is done. 

I fell in love and had so much hope. I wanted to be that one for you, although I knew I couldn't be. I guess I cant figure out why. Maybe that's why you're still there, maybe it's why I still care. 

I'm doing better, I know I'm okay. but there must be deeper healing to be done
Now i'll take this time to seek my one true love, who I really need. 
Jesus is my rock and my foundation, He is my True and only Love. I know I loved you for a reason, and I know it was a season. I guess I still have questions, and thats why I will constantly wonder. 

For now I'll except the time we shared, the words that were said and how I cared. 
I'll burn the seeds my heart grew for you, after all it's all I can do. 
A new chapter, something new, just gotta figure out how to say goodbye, cause I just miss you.